Throughout human history, food has been a symbol of survival and power. It indicates status and provides a sense of community. Joining together around a table is what we do to celebrate and to embrace togetherness. Food is a magical, uniting force for good that creates a bond so strong that even the most demented, flaky, and indignant groups of friends and familiy will set aside differences to enjoy a meal.

In our little corner of existence we are no strangers to the concept of gathering together with the general theme of consuming food. Often it means a build-your-own nacho bar with tons of fixings.

For this party, we took a slightly different approach. We wanted to celebrate our favorite nacho topping – delicious, glorious, luscious cheese. Specifically, we wanted to indulge righteously into massive amounts of cheese sauce. So, we put out the call to friends and family that we were hosting a cheese sauce competition and for no good reason there was also a dinosaur theme (why not?). They were instructed to bring their best attempt at cheese sauce and the guests would vote for the best one. We made no other rules or requirements in order to foster the most creativity with our chef-friends, and we were not disappointed!

Truth be told, the idea for the party was a sort of a personal project for me. My friend, Becky, shared with me a vegan nacho cheese recipe, and I wanted to put it to the test. For this party, the vegan nacho cheese was my entry into the competition. I chose to be honest about the veganness of my sauce, and frankly, it disqualified me in the eyes of many of the judges. But guess what? I didn’t care. Because that vegan cheese sauce was absolutely delicious and as an animal consumer, I stand by it as a reasonable, nay, excellent nacho topping for any enthusiast. My sauce got one vote from my 12-year-old friend, Kyla who had never tried cheese sauce before, so I consider it THE cheese sauce for the next generation. You can give it a try here: VEGAN NACHO CHEESE SAUCE RECIPE

The entries into the competition were amazingly diverse leaving attendees and judges thrilled with the creativity and downright edibility of all the cheese sauces. There were winners, but let’s make one thing clear: there were definitely no losers!

The Competition

As guests arrived they were greeted with a diverse selection of chips, crackers, vegetables, and other accoutrements for dousing, dipping, drizzling, and dumping the various cheese sauces. Each sauce had a small cup next to it for voting. Guests were given 3 distinctly different screws – 1 small, 1 medium, 1 large. They were told to drop the large screw into the cup of their their first choice for best sauce. The medium screw should be dropped in their second choice, and the smallest screw should be dropped in their third choice. This highly effective voting system was scientifically devised in order to reduce the likelihood of a tie and also provided for a satisfying tactical experience for the guests.

The votes were counted and the winners were chosen (no one was screwed).

The Winners

Santa-fe di…sauce – 3rd Place!

This was a dip/sauce with spicy peppers, melty cheese, sweet corn, and traditional southwest flavors. It was melted in the oven upon arrival and served as a lava-hot, gooey, and savory dip/sauce fit for a king. Our friends, Gabe and Liz came up with this award winning di…sauce. Gabe was visibly disappointed with the third place ranking, but I think it was a genuine accomplishment considering the level of the competition. Chin up, buttercup, you did great!

Sweet & Salty Gjetost + Smoked Paprika Sauce – 2nd Place!

This one was one of the more unique sauces that totally knocked our socks off and inspired the most creativity as far as what it was drizzled over. The Gjetost cheese, pronounced “yay-toast”, a Norwegian delicacy so popular with skiers that it is sometimes called “Ski cheese” was the prominent flavor. It has the sweetness of caramel with the tang of a fine goat cheese and a fudgy texture. While the cheese was the star of this sauce, its success lies firmly in the combination of spices and richness. I used some of the leftovers in banana whoopie pies and quietly congratulated myself for the outcome. In reality, the congratulations go to our friend, Huan-Hua Chye, for devising this absolute masterpiece. Get the recipe here: SWEET & SALTY GJETOST + SMOKED PAPRIKA SAUCE RECIPE

The Rampture – 1st Place!

The party was held in May in Wisconsin, and so this sauce featured one of the prized local and seasonal flavors, the ramp, with a deeply satisfying rich and velvety texture. To reach this texture, award winner, Tony Mohr, researched the science behind making a smooth cheese sauce. This guy knows his sauce. But, texture alone did not win this honor for Tony. To reach the top, he balanced that perfectly creamy texture with a fresh seasonal flavor that was nothing short of heavenly. It was the kind of sauce you could really see yourself getting serious with. By that, I mean it was so much more than cheese sauce. One taste and you were imagining drizzling it on just about anything from pasta to chips to scrambled eggs to beef stew to a hot dog. Endless possibilities! I wish I had some right now. Get the recipe here: THE RAMPTURE CHEESE SAUCE RECIPE

Honorable Mention

• XQSERLB
  Described by the chef as “Smoke, Rich, Blue” and that accurately sums up this delightfully savory blue cheese based sauce.
• MESA QUESO RAWR!
  This one had melty cheese, beans, tomatoes, rice, and Mexican spices. It was also a borderline dip, but we didn’t care, because it was yummy.
• Vegan “Cheese” Sauce
  Do not let the name mislead you. This sauce is delicious, and I’ve made it twice more since the party, and I keep finding ways to adjust the recipe and pour this liquid gold over everything.
• Irish Stout Cheese Sauce
  Unmistakable, rich bourbon barrel stout beer complimented a dubliner cheese for this pub style classic.
• Southwest “Everything But the Kitchen Sink” Sauce
  This one had a little bit of everything in there, beans, vegetables, spices, and of course melty delicious cheese. It was surprisingly complicated and surprisingly delicious!

In the end, this party was a mad success. Our prizes were custom-made pieces of artwork made by the hosts, and everyone went home full and happy (except maybe Gabe). It was an extensive exploration of the limitless possibilities of our favorite topping; the special ingredient that we can’t live without; the food we consider to be our best friend; glorious, scrumptious cheese (sauce). Go ahead and have yourself a cheese sauce party! You’ll be so glad you did.