As a famous nacho blogger, I get asked a lot of questions like where are the best nachos (homemade), what is my favorite topping (cheese), or what time of day is too early to eat nachos (trick question). People expect me to have strong opinions about what should be considered nachos. They put faith in my suggestions, and I take that responsibility very seriously.

When a friend sent me this blog post titled “In defense of shitty nachos”, I put on my thinking (nacho) sandals and I started to write a thoughtful rebuttal.

Before you read further, I suppose you might want to read the piece which articulates one writer’s opinion about nachos. You can read it here -> https://thetakeout.com/in-defense-of-shitty-nachos-1827816692. What follows is a rebuttal that may seem harsh to some. It’s just that I have a very tangible desire to defend nachos against such contempt.

While I can agree with the author about some points (stale chips are unforgivable), I’m afraid I must disagree with nearly everything published in the post.

First off, the beautiful thing about nachos is that they don’t have to be perfect. Have I been disappointed with nachos in the past? Sure. Sometimes you get to the middle of the plate of nachos and you find a cheese desert or you’re left with a pile of naked chips at the end of a good long haul. Guess what? You still got to eat some nachos.

I believe there are no good or bad nachos. I stand in solidarity with even the silly, soggy mess at the end that you’re compelled to eat with a fork. Oooh, poor you, you have to eat your nachos with a fork. Buck up, you’re still eating nachos, man!

I’m sorry to point out that you might be a terrible person if you describe nachos as “difficult to eat alone but worse to share.” What is wrong with you? Share the frickin’ nachos! Or if you say things like “Cheese is a problem.” I don’t even know where to begin with this statement. You got some cheese on there? Excellent. Need more cheese? Yeah you do! Go get some! The cheese is in a sauce? Amazing! Is it melted? Yes?! Well howdy, howdy, how! Cheese is a miracle. Cheese is NEVER a problem.

I consider myself an aficionado of nachos, rather than an expert or worse, some kind of nacho purist. My mantra when it comes to nachos is “You do what you gotta do.” You wanna eat some kettle chips topped with blue cheese and bacon and call it nachos? Good on ya. No one is getting hurt. You need to top your potato wedges with sour cream and chives and call them nachos? Whatever gets you through the day, friend. If someone wants to take that away from you, because they need some textbook definition of nachos to feel better about themselves, consider that you might be better off without that person and their negativity in your life. No one should try to keep you from your nachos.

There are no “shitty nachos.” There are just nachos.

Nachos should bring people together. That’s what they’re good at. Let’s not fight about good nachos or bad nachos or what “is” cheese and what “is not” cheese. Let’s celebrate the fact that nachos exist and are a bounty of diverse food stuffs that can be adjusted to please just about anyone. And yes, they can exist without cheese, but let’s be honest for a second – it’s all about the cheese. I feel the need to repeat here that cheese is NEVER the problem.

Just remember, even the worst nachos are better than no nachos at all.